Breathe
by MyMagentaPeach
Summary: Takes place Season 2: Blaine shows up at Kurt's one Friday afternoon, unable to calm down or breathe. Established Klaine.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Glee.

**A/N: I have been meaning to improve on this story for a long time. I hope those of you who loved it when I first posted it still do as it is now, and those of you who just find it will love it too.  
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**xo M  
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><p>Old AN: Glee is back tomorrow. So how exactly is it that I still feel enough angst to write this? Sighs. I hope you like this as much as I do, or more.

Love, M

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><p><strong>Breathe<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

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><p>In Kurt's life, there have not been very many moments in which he felt truly lucky.<p>

In the big scheme of things he, to this day, mostly thinks of himself as _'…different.'_

He hopes this is not only because others tend to describe him in…

…that…way.

'_Lucky.'_

Kurt hates the idea which people seem to throw especially at children, a whole lot:

_Remember, there is always someone who has it worse._

Kurt never could find it in himself to understand _'…how on earth that thought is supposed to make anyone feel better.' _

But still, right now, and Kurt hates himself a little for feeling that way, listening to Blaine's ragged breathing, coming out more in gasps and sobs than actual breaths, Kurt grows positively aware for the first time of just how lucky he can be considered, he can think himself, to have his _'…Dad, and Carole.'_

Kurt helplessly watches Blaine struggling, desperately, with himself to find the breath that will carry the words he needs to say from his own chest to Kurt's ears - the words that will express, can convey the things, the feelings, the fears that have build in him over years of torturous, disturbingly straightforward rejection, hate, abuse.

The snide remarks, the looks, the ridiculously stern rules; Blaine cannot take it any longer.

Kurt, again, is reminded that no matter what cruel scheme the bullies at school come up with next, ultimately, _'…they stay at school.'_

Kurt is his own person. More, Kurt is allowed to be his own person, to have his own personality, to be himself…in his home, a home he loves.

Home to Blaine is not a concept connected with that of love, and Kurt had first two months ago noticed the trace of pain in Blaine's eyes whenever he comes over to have a meal with Kurt's family, or just to be with Kurt, just to be…really - Kurt now fully understands, for the first time.

Blaine loves how he can just be himself with Kurt and Kurt's family.

One reason, one of the many why Blaine loves Kurt, Kurt knows how to, and dares to…be himself. No matter where he is or who he is with.

Burt - despite the grief loss of the woman he and his son still love so much - has done a great job installing confidence in his son who has from a very early age on never not been unmistakably different from most of his surroundings and especially the people in them.

Kurt feels his breath leave his chest, but somehow at the sight of the broken boy, who cannot form even a single word, Kurt's airways tighten and refuse the relief of fresh air to re-enter his body.

At the end of the day Kurt has warmth and a place he can be sure he is loved to return to.

Blaine looks so lost.

Blaine has lost himself.

With coming to Kurt, his anchor to a reality he cannot only just about stand but love, Blaine hopes to find …something, anything really that will help him make his own way back.

Kurt aches with the need to take Blaine into his arms, but the attempt forty minutes ago did not go well at all, and Burt, nursing the cut on Kurt's arm from falling against the coffee table in the living room when Blaine pushed him harshly away before curling up on himself on the living room couch – quite obviously unable to deal with human contact just then - has ordered Kurt to let Blaine calm down first. But it has been forty minutes after all, and Kurt is not sure how much more of watching the boy rocking himself back and forth, shaking violently, he can take, before he will break down completely as well.

"Scared of Blaine, I had never expected to feel like that," Kurt whispers to his dad, who is standing right next to Kurt; both watching the boy on the couch with love drenched in worry.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Here the second reworked part. My writing style has changed quite a bit since I first posted this story, so it was interesting, looking at it a little more closely again, and finding words I was not able to shape and use right all those months ago.

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><p><strong>Breathe<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

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><p>Burt reassuringly squeezes Kurt's shoulder "It'll be okay, Kiddo. Coming here, he is asking for our help, and I won't leave you two alone with this, I promiss. Whatever it is."<p>

"His parents," Kurt whispers in answer.

Burt nods in understanding, thinking back to the hints Blaine has kept dropping ever since his first visit to Burt's garage. '_Hoping to be heard.'_

Listening to his dad's words Kurt realizes it is in no way Blaine who he fears, but that there are parts of Blaine, which are out of Kurt's and Blaine's own reach; rendering both boys incapable to help themselves or each other for now.

Blaine is still shaking, has not once stopped ever since Kurt laid eyes on him when he opened the front door to his boyfriend about an hour ago.

Kurt is still longing to launch himself at Blaine. To hold Blaine, help him still his racing mind, so he can breathe, so they can both breathe again.

Kurt's chest feels tight, seems to be tightening further a he tries to think of something, anything, still overwhelmed, maybe even more so now after having to helplessly watch Blaine suffer for so long. Kurt fears that feeling of constant half suffocation will never leave him again. It is a feeling he has known ever since his mum died, and felt most days since.

But today it hurts more than it has in a long time. Or maybe, maybe it only appears that way to Kurt.

After all, Blaine had been the one to almost turn that feeling into nothing but an unpleasant memory ever since their first kiss in March.

…but seeing Blaine like this Kurt cannot help but feel, it hurts more than ever.

"I cannot lose you too, Blaine." Kurt whispers more to himself than Blaine, but Burt has quite obviously heard it, and understood its true meaning; instantly wrapping his arms around his son he says quietly "Kiddo, I love how compassionate you are. But sometimes I worry your heart is too big for this world."

"I don't know what I can do for him, Dad. He looks so broken."

"Kiddo, Son, let me tell you something. I ain't sure you'll like to hear it, but I think you need to."

Kurt knows irrefutable fear is showing in his eyes when they meet his father's and he has to draw in the air a little harder for any oxygen to reach his lungs.

Burt gives his son a moment to catch his breath. "I have seen you looking like this before," Burt eventually says with a pained look himself, then adds with a very small smile, "...and look at you now. Experience like you have, as ugly as it sounds, is what'll help you truly be there for Blaine today and tomorrow and the day after that, and as long as he needs you and wants to be with you and you want to be with him."

This time, Kurt is the one moving in first to hug his dad.

And for a short moment they stay like that, wrapped in each other's loving embrace.

But Kurt's mind is with the boy on the couch, so he pulls away sooner than he would usually out of such a hug.

Moving closer to Blaine, once again, Kurt knows from the glimpses he manages to almost steel from Blaine's eyes it is not the boy's body that needs calming.

Kurt knows how to reach out to other people through love. He has no idea how to help another person reach out and grab onto their own mind again.

A hug..., no hug will ever fix this.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

Last reworked part. Hope you loved every scond.

_xo M_

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><p><strong>Breathe<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<br>**

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><p>Blaine seems so utterly out of it, and Kurt feels the tears welling up painfully slow.<p>

The helplessness growing in him is what eventually pushes the tears so close to the edge of his eyes, that one blink of Kurt's eyelashes makes them spill over.

The tears find their paths down his cheeks, leaving uneven tracks, as Kurt begins to sob and shake with pain and fear alike himself, his face turned down to rest in his hands as he kneels before Blaine still on the couch.

"Kurt?" A tender shaky hand reaches out and lovingly brushes over Kurt's hair. "Please don't cry."

Kurt looking up and their eyes instantly connecting fully for the first time in what seems forever to both, makes new tears well up in both boys eyes.

For a moment they just sit like that Kurt crying, Blaine still shaking and crying, his right hand now resting on, cupping tenderly but shaky Kurt's left cheek.

Both boys scared to lose the new found contact frozen in their positions.

Kurt is the one to speak again first, "Blaine. Are you…" Kurt cannot even bring himself to think the word okay, it feels so wrong, so hurtful to ask such a quite obviously untrue thing. "Please talk to me" Kurt nothing more than whispers instead.

"I cannot stay with them anymore, Kurt, I just can't go back. They will never," Blaine takes in a sharp breath "would never throw me out, they love torturing me way too much to ever let me…, let alone make me go. I'm so scared."

Blaine breaks back down completely once more and Kurt is about to move unto the couch, when Blaine slips down onto the floor in front of it, right next to Kurt, who instinctively takes hold of the boy, allows him to curl up into his lap, both boys holding on tightly to each other, sobbing.

"I will not let you go back there, not again. I'm so sorry, I should never have let you go back to your parents last week. Dad?" Kurt begs, not daring to look at Burt, his voice trembling, begging - body clinging close to Blaine's.

Burt is the only one who notices the front door being opened and closing.

No one expected Carole and Finn back for at least another half hour. The shops usually so packed on Fridays, everything takes longer.

At the sight of Blaine, and Kurt, on the floor, Carole almost lets go of the box of shopping in her arms, they just did for tonight's Friday dinner - Blaine so visibly utterly beside himself, muttering over and over, "I can't go on like this Kurt, I just can't. What is wrong with me that they hate me so much?" Blaine pausing only to sob and make increasingly unsuccessful attempts at breathing.

Carole catches herself quickly, puts the box down onto the floor and disappears into the kitchen, only to return with a plastic bag a moment later.

Placing a hand softly on Kurt's hair she says soothingly, "Sweetie, you have to let go of him for a moment, we need him to calm his breathing. Only he can do that himself, can you help me get him there?"

"What can I do?" Kurt asks in a still watery, shaky but determined voice.

Carole offers him a smile "Try to get through to him, just follow my lead, " and with that her eyes are fixed on Blaine. "Blaine, Sweetheart, please take this bag, you need to even out your breathing before you pass out."

As she tries to put the bag into Blaine's hands, he is still shaking too much to hold on, and only able to throw confused looks her way, shaking his head.

"I…cca…ca…can't," Blaine chokes out.

Kurt moves his own hands from Blaine's back to hold Blaine's, and begins to draw soothing patterns into Blaine's palms.

A tear slips out of Kurt's eye at the feel of Blaine's violent shaking not decreasing in the least.

Kurt does not care that all of his family is watching. He has no idea it will work either, but it is the only thing he has successfully used before when Blaine came to him upset about the way his parents treat him, abuse him...emotionally.

So the right now even paler than usually skinned boy lets go of Blaine's hands, grabs his face, and kisses him deeply.

It takes what appears like an eternity to Kurt, but finally he feels the shaking of his love's body ebb away more and more, and Blaine's breathing even out increasingly.

Both boys are breathing hard as they pull away, but breathing, finally breathing again.

Kurt blushes as he catches Carole's eye, who only mouthes 'Good call,' and smiles at him, then gestures for Finn, who looks utterly dumbfounded as to what just happened, to follow her with the rest of the shopping into the kitchen.

As Carole walks away, Kurt's eyes fall on his dad, who looks, with a soft acknowledging smile on his face, the farthest he ever could from shocked or angry.

Kurt is relieved.

Looking back to Blaine he is met with eyes more in focus than they have been ever since Blaine has shown up on their doorstep this afternoon.

"I love you, you are safe here. You never have to go back there again," Kurt murmurs into Blaine's shoulder as he holds Blaine in a love-filled embrace firmly to his chest.

Blaine closes his eyes for a moment, his head resting on Kurt's shoulder, and Kurt can feel Blaine truly relax into his touch for the first time today.

As he feels Blaine tense again slightly, Kurt pulls back a little, and sees Blaine's gaze slowly move into Burt's direction.

It is a plea of love, "Dad?"

Burt gives both boys a reassuring nod, then adds, "Yes, Kiddo, Blaine can stay with us."

As Burt turns and walks towards the kitchen, Kurt moves Blaine and himself onto the couch.

As they lie down together, Kurt does his best to make good use of his slightly taller frame and wraps his arms firmly around the smaller boy resting his head over Kurt's heart. Their legs are lightly tangled with each other.

"I love you so much," is the last thing Blaine whispers into Kurt's chest before his exhaustion carries him off to sleep. Kurt places a soft kiss to Blaine's forehead "I love you."

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><p><strong>THIS IS PART OF MY BREATHE-SERIES, you can find the names of the other installments in it in my profile description. xo M<strong>


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